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- Male: 1
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Ray has been wheeled into surgery for a quadruple heart bypass. However, he has been having concerns about the bill he will be hit with once his insurance company rules out the costs they will not cover. In desperation, he jumps off the bed and grabs a scalpel. Unless his doctors will reduce their fees, he threatens to perform his own operation.
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SURGEON What are you doing? I need that.
RAY (holds scalpel toward chest) I鈥檓 going to perform the operation myself.
SURGEON Yourself? You can鈥檛 do that. You鈥檒l bleed to death.
RAY Better now than for years to come! How much more will it cost if I lie down and do it?
FEMALE NURSE I don鈥檛 know. We don鈥檛 have any experience in self-surgery.
SURGEON I鈥檓 the only one in this room with a license to perform a heart operation.
RAY But I can鈥檛 pay for it without wrecking my life. Either I operate or I die!
SURGEON (to male nurse) Call security.
MALE NURSE Yes, Doctor Johnson.
RAY Don鈥檛 do that! I can鈥檛 wait. I need to operate now.
(staggers a bit)
What if I just have angioplasty?
SURGEON You need a quadruple bypass.
RAY What about if I only have a double? Can I save half?
SURGEON Same price.
RAY And a single?
SURGEON 鈥淚t won鈥檛 help. Your blood vessels are all clogged. To much rich living.鈥�
RAY But don鈥檛 you see? That鈥檚 why I can鈥檛 stand to be poor. I鈥檓 used to living well.
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