Ray has been wheeled into surgery for a quadruple heart bypass.
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SURGEON What are you doing? I need that.
RAY (holds scalpel toward chest) I鈥檓 going to perform the operation myself.
SURGEON Yourself? You can鈥檛 do that. You鈥檒l bleed to death.
RAY Better now than for years to come! How much more will it cost if I lie down and do it?
FEMALE NURSE I don鈥檛 know. We don鈥檛 have any experience in self-surgery.
SURGEON I鈥檓 the only one in this room with a license to perform a heart operation.
RAY But I can鈥檛 pay for it without wrecking my life. Either I operate or I die!
SURGEON (to male nurse) Call security.
MALE NURSE Yes, Doctor Johnson.
RAY Don鈥檛 do that! I can鈥檛 wait. I need to operate now.
(staggers a bit)
What if I just have angioplasty?
SURGEON You need a quadruple bypass.
RAY What about if I only have a double? Can I save half?
SURGEON
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