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WALTER: Hildy, I'll tell you what I want you to do.

HILDY: What? WALTER: I want you to get this guy Pincus over to the office tomorrow. HILDY: Nothing doing, Walter. I'm all washed up. I mean it this time, Walter. PEGGY: Oh, Hildy, if I only thought you did. HILDY: Listen, Peggy鈥攊f I'm not telling you the absolute truth may God strike me dead right now. I'm going to New York with you tonight鈥攊f you give me this one last chance! I'll cut out drinking and swearing and everything connected with the Goddamn newspaper business. I won't even read a newspaper. WALTER: Listen, Hildy, I got an idea鈥� HILDY: (to Walter): There's nothing you can say can make me change my mind. This time I'm through, and I mean it. I know I don't deserve you, Peggy. I've done everything in the world to prove that, I guess. PEGGY: Hildy, please! Don't say things like that. HILDY: I've gotta hell of a nerve to ask you to marry me. I'm a prize package, all right. But if you'll take me, here I am. PEGGY: Darling, don't talk that way. I want you just the way you are. WALTER: God, Hildy, I didn't know it was anything like this. Why didn't you say something? I'd be the last person in the world to want to come between you and your happiness. HILDY: (staggered) What? WALTER: You ought to know that鈥 love you, you crazy Swede! You're getting a great guy, Peggy. HILDY: Never mind the Valentines. Goodbye, you lousy bohunk.

WALTER: You're a great newspaperman, Hildy. I'm sorry to see you go. Damn sorry.

HILDY: Well, if I ever come back to the business鈥�.(to Peggy) Which I won't鈥here's only one man I'd work for. You know that, don't you?

WALTER: I'd kill you if you ever worked for anybody else.

HILDY: Hear that, Peggy? That's my diploma. Well, Walter鈥 don't know what to say except I'm going to miss you like hell.

WALTER: Same here, son. HILDY: (to Peggy) Twelve years we've been knockin around together,,,before you were born. (to Walter) Remember the time we hid the missing heiress in the sauerkraut factory? WALTER: Do I! (to Peggy) Get him to tell you some time about how we stole Old Lady Haggerty's stomach off the coroner's physician. We proved she was poisoned鈥� HILDY: We had to hide for a week!

PEGGY: Darling . . HILDY: What?

PEGGY: You don't want to go to New York鈥own deep.

HILDY: Aw,,,what do you mean? I was just talking. I'd feel worse if I stayed, I guess鈥�.

PEGGY: Hildy, if I thought you were going to be unhappy鈥擨 mean, if you really wanted to鈥攏o. No. It's your chance to have a home and be a human being鈥攁nd I'm going to make you take it.

WALTER: Why, I wouldn't let him stay. Go on, Hildy, before I make you city editor.

HILDY: Hurry up, Peggy. He means it.

WALTER: Any objection to my kissing the bride?

HILDY: It's O. K. with me. Go ahead, Mrs. Johnson.

WALTER: (removing his hat and kissing her chastely) Thank you. What time does your train go?

PEGGY: There's another one at twelve-forty. (to Hildy) We came awfully near going without you.

WALTER: New York Central, eh? (to Hildy) I wish there was time to get you a little wedding present鈥ut it's awful short notice.

PEGGY: Thank you, Mr. Burns, but Hildy's all the wedding present I want鈥f I've really got him.

HILDY: Ah, forget it, Walter.

WALTER: Hold on! I want you to have something to remember me by. You can't just leave like this鈥� (thoughtfully reaching for his watch) And I know what it's going to be. (produces the watch)

HILDY: Aw, Jesus, no, Walter! You make me feel like a fairy or something! WALTER: Shut up! You're going to take it, I tell you! It was a present from the Big Chief himself! And if you look inside, you'll find a little inscription: "To the Best Newspaperman I know." When you get to New York, you can scratch out my name and put yours in its place, if you want to.

HILDY: You know I wouldn't do that鈥�

WALTER: Here鈥� (giving him the watch)

HILDY: Aw, Walter! It's too good for me! I can't take it!

WALTER: You got to! (to Peggy) Make him!

PEGGY: Go on, Hildy鈥f Mr. Burns wants you to. You don't want to hurt his feelings鈥� (Hildy takes it. Walter pats him on the shoulder, his face averted)

HILDY: Well, this is the first and last thing I ever got from a newspaper鈥�

PEGGY: Goodbye, Mr. Burns鈥 always had a queer opinion of you, Mr. Burns. I still think you're a little peculiar, but you're all right鈥nderneath. I mean I think you're a peach.

WALTER: So are you! You look just like a little flower!

HILDY: Goodbye, you big baboon

PEGGY: Goodbye. (they exit)

WALTER: Goodbye, Johnson! Be good to yourself鈥nd the little girl,,,

HILDY'S VOICE: The same to you and many of them!

(Walter waits till Hildy and Peggy are out of sight and earshot, then closes the door. He walks slowly to the telephone. The receiver is still off the hook, the obedient Duffy still on the other end. Walter hesitates sentimentally, the receiver in his hand. Then he heaves a huge sigh and speaks)

WALTER : Duffy! Listen. I want you to send a wire to the Chief of Police of La Porte, Indiana鈥hat's right. That's right. Tell him to meet the twelve-forty out of Chicago鈥ew York Central鈥nd arrest Hildy Johnson and bring him back here. Wire him a full description.. The son of a bitch stole my watch!

Citation: Ben Hecht and Charles MacArthur, The Front Page, Covici-Friede, 1928, pp. 184-189.

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