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- Male: 2
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Stan is waiting outside a hotel in London. His master, DJ, is upstairs in the hotel spending the evening with a Croatian supermodel. However, DJ has only just returned from his honeymoon and has ditched his wife to run after another woman. Col comes to search for his sister鈥檚 new husband, only to realize that he is being unfaithful. Here, he grills Stan as to what DJ is up to and Stan reluctantly reveals DJ鈥檚 dalliance. Stan understands Col鈥檚 frustration, as he is also both exasperated and
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Col WHERE IS HE?!
Stan I鈥檓 sorry?
Col Is he here? He must be here!
Stan Well he鈥檚 not!
Col senses a lie. His eyes wander to the jar of nuts...
Col Are they from a mini鈥攂ar? Did you stay here last night?
[... 鈥
Col You鈥檙e nothing but a fly on a horse鈥檚 shitey arse! I and my brother will be the tail that smites the fly. And the horse too!
Stan Oh, be gone 鈥� and take your terrible metaphors with you!
Col (exiting) I鈥檓 coming back!
Stan calls after him.
Stan I鈥檒l deny everything! You鈥檝e no proof!
Patrick Marber, Don Juan in Soho. Faber & Faber, 2017.
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