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I found her stocking today. I saw it and I just stared at it and thought, 鈥淲hat am I supposed to do with this?鈥� Do I put it up? Do I throw it away? Do I put it back in the box like it doesn鈥檛 exist? Paul clearly thought it was better to hide it. But now I know it鈥檚 here, I can鈥檛 forget I know it鈥檚 here and then it just feels like I鈥檓 ignoring her if I put it away, like she鈥檚 no longer part of the family. So I put it aside to figure it out later and then I see the old Christmas cards. You always hated that I saved them, said it was pointless and it was all just junk Janey would have to go through when we passed so better for us to throw it out now to save her the trouble.